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Journalist Cat Hufton on IVF, fashion after baby and that work/baby balance

Updated: Dec 5, 2019

Cat Hufton is a freelance journalist who writes both editorial and commercial content for a variety of clients such as Elle UK, Harper’s Bazaar, Red, the Telegraph, Waitrose Magazine and Oh Comely. She covers a range of subjects from fashion, beauty, travel, feminism, education and diversity.


Additionally, Cat creates high-quality content for beauty brands such as La Roche-Posay, SkinCeuticals and Vichy, as well as fashion brands such as Net-a-Porter, French Connection, Great Plains and Farfetch.


As a successful freelance journalist, what changes did you have to make when you

became a mum? Did you find your goals or priorities changed?


I’d been freelancing for a couple of years before I had Leo, so I’d managed to build up a

good number of regular clients as well as save for my maternity leave in that time. (One

perk of trying for a baby for a long time is that you have plenty of time to prepare). I had

enough money so that I could comfortably not work for 10 months but by three months I

was emailing editors again. Of course, I couldn’t work that much with a newborn but even

writing the odd piece kept my brain ticking. I don’t feel like myself if I’m not writing

something.


I am very ambitious so I found it difficult to not work if I’m honest, but I made peace with

this by writing a few things each month just to keep my profile up and my relationships with

editors ticking along. I had such a fear of being forgotten and replaced. While I may not

make as much money as I did before, Leo is my priority now and I’ve found I now work with

a wider pool of publications and I do far much more journalism than copywriting - which

was always my aim. I feel lucky that I can still earn good money while working flexibly and

being my own boss.



After a year of balancing work and having Leo at home, you decided to utilise childcare to give you a more realistic timetable for getting work done. How did you adapt to this change?


When Leo was about 10 months old, I started reaching out to a lot of my contacts and

taking on more work again. The work came (thank goodness) and I worked while he napped

in the morning and then in the evening or weekend. Although this sounds like hard work (it

was) it made me feel so much happier and back to my normal self. But as he got older and

more mobile it started to become unsustainable and I was burning myself out and finding it

hard to have boundaries between work and family time.


We then decided to put him in nursery two days a week which helped a lot. The challenge

with this though is that commissions don’t always land on those two days. This week for

example, I had two features to write over the weekend and my deadline was midday on

Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday came around when Leo was at nursery and I was fairly

quiet with work which then made me feel terribly guilty. This doesn’t happen that often

though so I hope I can try to be a bit kinder to myself going forward and take this down time

for what it is: a bit of much-needed rest and time for myself or an opportunity to meet with

editors and new clients.


Do you think IVF babies lead to a different journey as a mum? What tips would you give to others going through IVF at the moment?


Possibly but I think it’s so hard to say as everyone’s journey is different. One thing is for

sure, when you’ve tried unsuccessfully for a baby for a couple of years and gone through

IVF, that baby is incredibly precious and my husband and I are very devoted parents. That’s

not to say that other parents who haven’t gone through IVF don’t feel like that but everything has felt very intense for us as a family and those feelings have, at times, been difficult to manage.


My advice for others going through IVF is to be really, really kind to yourself and make sure

your life is as calm and positive as possible. It’s also an incredibly revealing time and you’ll

really work out who your friends are. Prepare yourself for this and protect yourself but also

don’t feel ashamed about what you’re going through. I found that the best therapy was

talking and I had a really close-knit group of friends that I spoke to about every part of my

journey. I also had a wonderful acupuncturist who gave me so much support and I spoke to

her about a lot of things I couldn’t bring up with others. Find your people or person and let

it out. Adrenalin and cortisol are not good for making babies so avoid stress and toxic

people as much as possible.



Have you found that people are more open to discussing fertility with you because of your experience?


Yes definitely. I am a very open person and have never hidden the fact that Leo was a result

of IVF. Some friends have asked for advice privately or complete strangers have read my

writing and messaged me on Instagram to talk about their own journey. It’s good to be

private if that’s your personality but I always encourage everyone to talk. There’s no shame

in needing help and infertility affects SO many people. You can make so many misconceptions about what someone’s life is from the outside or from social media, and you

probably have no idea what they’re actually going through.



How do you think modern media approaches fertility? Where do you think improvements can be made?


I actually think it can be really useful as there is such a big fertility community online –

especially on Instagram. I think there needs to be more positivity shared though. I couldn’t

stand reading anything about IVF when I was actually going through it as there are so many

scare stories out there. Of course, many parents go through hell but there are also many,

many happy endings and hundreds of thousands of babies born as a result of IVF. I think it’s

really important you go into the whole process with hope and positivity and also share your

good experiences. Sadly the bad stuff makes better headlines.



I love that you used nail art as a form of expression during your pregnancy and birth.

What advice would you give to mums who feel as though they've lost their identity?


When you become a mum your whole life can feel upside down and your priorities change -

but this doesn’t mean your needs aren’t important and your identity has to change. Make

time to do things (when you can) that make you feel good. Go and have dinner or lunch with

a friend and try and talk about something other than your baby. And if you can’t catch a

break, take your baby with you. Leo has been to hair salons, art galleries and work meetings

from a very young age and what I love doing hasn’t changed. Yes the logistics are a bit

trickier but Leo has simply made it better. I see him as my sidekick.



How have you found the social side to being a mum? What would you recommend for

new mums who are feeling a little isolated? And has working freelance changed other

mum's perception of you either positively or negatively?


I am not the kind of person who really likes being alone so I threw myself into groups and

socialising right from the beginning. When I was pregnant, I struggled a lot with anxiety and

a midwife advised that I find a Positive Birth Group – there are groups all over the country in

conjunction with the popular pregnancy book. This was such a comfort to me as I could hear

from other mums and speak to other pregnant women and midwives who gave off-the-

record advice. Then when Leo arrived, I went to a group at the local children’s centre in

Lewisham called Mindful Mums in association with Mind. It gave support to mums who

were particularly anxious, had suffered from PND or previous trauma such as baby loss. I

made some great friends here as everyone was so open and honest. We really laid it all out

on the table. We later moved area and a lot of my friends went back to busy jobs, so I used

the app Peanut to connect with local mums and now have a great little community of

women around me. If you’re a new mum, try to get out as much as you can as it can get

very lonely if you try to do it all alone. Even a coffee with a friend can make a difference so

be brave and ask someone at a group if they fancy grabbing a cuppa after or use an app like

Peanut to find like-minded women.


I think in terms of other people’s perceptions, many other parents are always very

interested in the fact that I’m freelance. It takes quite a lot of courage to run your own

business and it’s not for everyone so I completely understand when people envy your

freedom but also don’t quite understand it. Lots of people need the structure of an office. I

hate it.



As an avid reader, what books would you recommend for cosy nights in with baby? And what children's books are essential to any child's bookshelf?


Anything by Dawn O’Porter. The Cows and So Lucky are such great reads and are all about

the power of female relationships. Just what you need when you’ve had a baby. In terms of

children’s books, I love the classics such as The Hungry Caterpillar, Peepo, and Guess How

Much I Love You. I’ve been reading to Leo since he was born and he spends a lot of time

looking at the books on his shelf.


You always look so glamorous on Instagram! Have you found it a challenge to keep up with beauty and fashion trends since having a baby? What are your thoughts on certain clothing styles being described as "mumsy" or"mum" style?


Thank you. It was a challenge at first as my old clothes didn’t fit or look the way I wanted

them to. And my main priority in those first few months was wearing breastfeeding friendly

clothes. But once the baby weight started to come off, I fell in love with my wardrobe again.

Fashion is an intrinsic part of who I am and I’ve always used clothes as a way of expressing

myself. I also love skincare and maintaining a really good regime made me feel more human

during the months of sleep deprivation.


I suppose when people talk about ‘mum style’ they mean things that can look stylish while

also being comfortable. I must admit, I do dress differently when I go to playgroups and soft

plays as you need to be able to get on and off the floor. I also get very upset if I’m wearing a

dry clean only jumper and Leo gets it dirty so I try to wear less special things day to day.



I love that you take Leo to art galleries, particularly exhibitions with sensory elements.

What are your tips for exploring galleries with a baby? What exhibitions are you most

looking forward to in 2020?


Try to go to exhibitions that are colourful and sensorial where possible – in a gallery with

some space for your child to toddle about if they’re walking such as the Saatchi, RA or Tate

Modern in London. Some of my favourites have been the Royal Academy’s Summer Show

and Olafur Eliasson at the Tate Modern. We just went to see Pre-Raphaelite Sisters at the

National Portrait Gallery. It wasn’t the best exhibition for Leo so he ate a ham sandwich in

his pram while I looked around. In 2020, I really want to go and see the Steve McQueen

Exhibition Year 3. He invited every Year 3 pupil in London to have their photograph taken by

a team of specially trained Tate photographers including children from state primaries,

independent schools, faith schools, special schools, pupil referral units and home-educated

pupils. It looks really interesting.



Where can our readers see more of your work and keep up with your adventures with

Leo?


I write regularly for publications such as the Telegraph, Elle and Harper’s Bazaar and usually

share my work on my Instagram stories.

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